why I joined, dropped out and joined again

if u hit http://heynownow.blogspot.com you'd noticed I'd got the whiff of this way back in '03. Bah crappy novelty I said, who's gonna waste their time to read the shite I put up I asked myself. I was wrong. 4 years go by and while I'm stuck in the world of mundane routine and associated mediocrity that goes along with it, the world changes. People start expressing themselves, and heck I'd lost out on the pioneering value but am convinced its never too late to start something new. Now matter however cliched it is and no matter how many other people are doing it. Why am I doing this, truth is I dont know...just know I have to. Its not peer influence, not an outburst of perceived creativity that suddenly feels the compelling need to escape from within me, like maggots from a corpse, its just the thought of being left out without have had the chance of expressing myself for my own sake. I am doing this, its the need t have an utterly useless habit, maybe out of compulsion but not competetion for once.